3 little Miracles

3 little Miracles

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Praying for Victory over Infertility one more Time - Thinking of #3 all the time

These Days I am thinking of baby number 3 all of the time. I find myself asking my husband almost nightly, “so are you ready for another?” Two years ago when we had our second son JonJon I knew right away that I wanted to have one more BUT I also knew right away that the time would not be any time soon.

Pretty soon after Jon was born I knew that I was experiencing some post-partum depression. I think my husband knew that I was not myself and that it took me a very long time to find my NEW balance to life, but he never said anything, he just quietly tried to help me find my way. I have not done the research to see if the reason some woman experience PPD is because of a chemical thing within our body after having a baby OR if it is truly MY mental state (which scares me more then the other). However I am finally beginning to find my life balance again, and although our lives are still hectic with two energetic boys, I know I can handle it with God’s grace and mercy.

Shortly after JonJon entered our lives we had the talk about baby number 3 and we prayed together over it. My husband and I were lead to the conclusion that if God lifted the desire away from either one of us for another baby then we would not try again. Over the past two years neither one of us has had the desire leave us, but we have had God speak to our hearts either together or separately that that moment wasn’t at that moment. I have spent so much time in prayer over the little one I hope will join our lives in the near future, I am committed to laying my desires at the Master’s feet so HE can direct my way and not my yearning for a little girl (or another boy).

Our journey to being parents was very difficult and we dealt with infertility and treatment for the first 3 years of our marriage (previous post with our story). So for us to begin this journey again at the age of 40, will not be easy, and for me specifically it will be physically challenging. However I still feel God’s whisper getting louder to my heart and drawing us closer to the perfect time to try one last time with His hand upon us, for baby #3. My husband too is hearing God’s voice grow louder and all we can do is wait upon the Father to guide us.


Post a Comment