3 little Miracles

3 little Miracles

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Praying for Victory over Infertility one more Time - Dreaming in PINK

This evening I was reading Kelly's blog post Gulf Shores Part 2 of 2 over at Kelly's Korner and she had this adorable picture of Harper in this beautiful pink and white monogrammed dress.  However it was the paragraph after the picture that caught my attention and truly made me cry in remembrance of the journey I went through the 3 years prior to getting pregnant with our first son Davey and the journey we are preparing to try one last time in January.

"I love this dress! I will go ahead and tell you that I bought this dress a good year before I ever got pregnant - maybe even 2 years. I just prayed and knew somehow that God was going to give me a daughter. This is the dress that on the lowest of days of infertility - I would go in the nursery closet and get it out and look at it and imagine a little baby girl wearing it. We prayed together as a family on the beach after taking these pictures and I was crying thinking of all those sad days when I wanted a child so bad and all those scary days when Harper was first born - and here we were ......taking family pictures on the beach with a baby more beautiful than I could have imagined wearing that little dress. I just want to tell you if you are waiting - please don't let go of that hope!"

I did the same thing, I knew in my heart that God was going to bless us and so I had a very large collection of baby clothes.  I was always picking up these adorable outfits when I found them on sale in both girls and boys and when we found out we were pregnant with a son I carefully packed away my dreams of a girl for another time.  Then two years later after going through the same process to try and get pregnant my husband and I both cried at the news that we were once again pregnant with a boy.  It isn't that we didn't feel blessed to be pregnant again, it's just that getting pregnant was so difficult on my body that we truly prayed for a girl so that we would not feel a desire to try one last time and put my body through that again.  Believe me I would not trade Jon for anything, I love my son dearly and the joy he gives me is unmeasurable, but I still dream of a girl to complete our family.
 
So here we are on the threshold of trying one more time and I started once again working on my yummy collection of baby girl clothes and this most gorgeous handmade blanket that I hope to decorate a little girls nursery around.  I can only pray that these items will join the small collection I have already tucked away, if not then God will show me the right mother-to-be who needs a baby girls adorable wardrobe. (sorry first one is a bad picture)
 
I know that so many woman, many of whom I have met through blogs or know in person, who are at the beginnig of the infertility battle.  I feel terrible that I am speaking of our worries over trying for baby #3, but we have truly prayed over this for a long while, ever since Jonathan was layed in my arms after recovery.  And whether your battling infertilty for your first child or your fourth, the battle is still difficult and sometimes heartbreaking.  Over the past two years God clearly has been speaking to our hearts and we knew that it wasn't the right time, but His whispers to our hearts continue to grow louder and we know that it is the time to begin the journey again.  We know that He alone will give me the strength to make it through the shots and what they do to me.
So if your reading this, let me know your on the journey and I will pray for you daily, I know the battle you and your husband are going through and I know that God will bless you (and maybe in unexpected ways).

"The LORD bless you and keep you;
the LORD make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn His face toward you and give you peace."
Numbers 6:24-26

4 comments:

  1. Laura Ann... Praying for joy & victory for you as God leads in this! I have 3 beautiful boys, but lost 4 babies along the way. I wouldn't trade those trials for anything, as God brought SO much good from the bad! Having experienced that pain, I also now understand the heartache that comes along with the trials of fertility challanges/pregnancy. God has given me such a heart for women struggling through trials in fertility, and for any pregnant woman and the vulnerable state. The enemy attacks in it in huge ways, but God uses it all for good. I remember praying (when I was desiring baby #3 and I had lost 4 pregnancies after having 2 boys with no issues), "Lord, change my heart if this is not your will for me. Lord, take away the desire. Help me to desire what you desire for me in this." And girl, I would want that baby even more! I wanted that baby, and I knew I wanted another boy. And, the Lord eventually did bless us with him. And, of course, he was so abundant in it b/c he exceedingly, abundantly supplies. He gave that baby my daddy's eyes - sky blue & I never look in those eyes without remembering God's miracles!!!!!!!

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  2. I can relate in so many ways. We suffered through many losses while building our family. Even before our first, I had a Hope Chest filled with baby things I`d pick up along the way. On the worst days, I`d take a few things out of that Hope Chest and dream, cry, pray harder.

    Our dreams were for a child, but we both longed for a girl. We had losses, a boy, more losses, another boy, more losses, and eventually, our girl. It was a difficult time, but like the above poster said, I asked God to take away my desire if this was not in His plan, and I felt so strongly about that girl... I had a stash of girl clothes, waiting. My friends thought I was a little nuts... well, from nuts grow tall oak trees, right?

    Don`t give up. I`ll add your journey to my prayers.

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  3. Wylie and JD,

    Thank you both for your prayers and words of encouragment, it is wonderful (and sad) meeting other woman who have battled so hard with ferility. BUT, such a reward to see so many give the battle over for the Master and trust that whatever the outcome HE WILL bring victory and joy in it. Thank you for our prayers for this next step in the journey for us and may God continue to bless you and your families.

    Daily laying it at the Master's feet!
    Laura Ann

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  4. Laura Ann, I stumbled across your beautiful site and wanted to request prayer for my son and daughter in law (she's really like my own daughter - I'm sooo blessed). They have had at least 6 miscarriages (most recent in Sept) but we are still believing for our miracle baby. They see the specialist in the next week or so. Would appreciate your prayers for Chris and Laraine and their miracle pregnancy and beautiful health baby!!
    Sweet Blessings!
    Jackie

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