3 little Miracles

3 little Miracles

Friday, February 19, 2010

Show us Your Life - Show Us Your Ministry

 
Today over at Kelly's blog Kelly's Korner the Show Us Your Life activity for today is Show Us Your Ministry, more specifically the ministry we do through our blog.

I started this blog for many reasons, but one of the main reasons was to journal about our battered road to Victory over Infertility (CLICK HERE to read all my posts on Infertility).  At first I wrote about our infertility just so people could understand who I am today because of where we have been as a couple over the past 8 1/2 years of our marriage.  I just wanted to provide my readers a little window into who I was, but what started as a "getting to know you" kind of post, turned into private emails asking me for more details, medication questions, prayer requests, and "I've been there" support. 

One night I realized that God was calling me to use my blog and facebook connections to help other woman like myself, who battled with infertility and the DEEP OVERWHELMING desire to have a child of their own.  So I continued posting about my feelings of our ongoing battle with infertility, my dreams of PINK, and desire to try ONE MORE TIME.  Some say we aren't battling infertility if we have successfully carried a baby to full term and that child is living and healthy.  Some say we especially don't get to call ourselves a couple battling with infertility if we were successful getting pregnant a SECOND TIME, and that child also had a healthy delivery.  BUT I DISAGREE, if you or someone you know can not get pregnant on their own without medical assistance, then you battle with infertility and all the emotional baggage that comes with that journey. 

We have been blessed twice to have full term pregnancies that resulted with healthy baby boys placed in our arms in or around the date they were do.  I have never had a miscarriage, so I don't have the emotional scares that that difficult situation creates nor have I carried a child full term only to have it not survive.  I do not claim in any way, that our struggle to have children was harder then anyone else, but FOR US it was and still remains a very difficult and gut wrenching battle, a physically taxing battle, and one that forever effects my body each time I go through the process.

HERE IS THE HONEST TRUTH, I am not FIT for pregnancy.
I am not the right AGE for pregnancy
I am not the right WEIGHT for pregnancy
I suffer from irregular cycles
I suffer from cysts on my ovaries
I suffer from anovulatory bleeding cycles
I suffer from endometriosis
I suffer from high blood pressure 
I suffer from reflux
I suffer from irrital bowl syndrome 
I suffer from nash syndrome (brought on by my weight, years of migraine medications, and the medications that helped me to get pregnant)
I am not statistically, physically, or medically a good candidate for pregnancy

BUT MY GOD doesn't deal in statistics, My GOD deals with me one on one, where I am and according to HIS PLAN and that is the message I want to get across.  I KNOW that by the worlds standards I should be grateful for what I have, and I am, and stop trying to have another child.  However, recently I came face to face with my own lack of faith in another child being a part of God's plan.  Once I was diagnosed with anovulatory bleeding cycles my husband and I kept praying for God to bless the medical process for us to get pregnant.  WE NEVER thought to ask God to bless us IN SPITE OF my medical conditions and allow us to get pregnant on our own.  It wasn't until recently, when my pastors wife actually prayed over me and she prayed, "Father, I ask you to touch Laura's body and allow her to conceive naturally. If it is your desire to bless them again with a child Lord, bless Laura and David with this precious miracle so that her body doesn't have to be attacked by the effects of the medication they have used before."  I began bawling my eyes out, because after years of not getting pregnant on our own and finally finding a medication that helped us to conceive I saw IT as our SURE THING and not GOD.  OH, how could I display such lack of faith in my heavenly Father.  

So that is my message of Victory over Infertility, I want others to be encouraged by our journey.  We don't know if God is going to bless us one more time, but if He chooses to He can!  I plan to remain in the center of His plan for me, for us, for our future.  There will be days when I fall outside of the circle, but my Father will tenderly offer His hand to help me stand up and get back into the center of it again.

Infertility clinics have undergone great scrutiny in the wake of Octo-Mom and there for have put into place stricter criteria for the kinds of patients they will help to conceive in order to protect themselves.  So the medications that worked for us (Gonal-F and Ovidrel injections) may not be available.  We couldn't afford IVF and so our doctor recommended the closest option available that was still covered by our insurance.  If you want to read more about our journey CLICK HERE or you would like me to add you to my prayer list for Victory over Infertility (left column), please leave a comment or email me at lcole@ec.rr.com

3 comments:

  1. How touching to read your experiences. We also struggled with infertility for years before being blessed with 4(!) children.
    Came over from Friday Follow.

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  2. I absolutely love this post and your blog!

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  3. Thank you for sharing. It took us 10 years to decide to just let the Lord do his thing and if we were to have children good for us, if not then we would adjust. It was 3 years later I had Mike, my one and only son but he came because the Lord gave him to us because I wasn't able to have children (an accident early in my life). He's now just a week from turing 18 and I thank God every day for the blessing he bestowed on me.
    I'm going to take some time and read some more of your blog. I'm a Friday Follower also.
    Take care and have a blessed weekend.

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