3 little Miracles

3 little Miracles

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I feel like I can finally take a deep breath

I know that some CAN imagine, and I know that some have no clue but try to sympathize with the difficulty we have been through the past  6 weeks since finding out we were pregnant.  So many of you have offered your sweet words of encouragement and offerings of prayers, and we have felt them and the Father has heard them.

Today we had our followup visit with the doctor after our scare a week ago when I started bleeding and cramping and we had to go to the ER.  After a little over a week of limited activity we had our followup appointment.  Today we prayed that we would be able to see our sweet child on the ultrasound monitor and we would finally have the peace of seeing and hearing first hand that our baby is growing strong within me.  As soon as we were in the ultrasound room I asked the Ult. Tech if we would be able to see everything.  She asked me if I was here as a follow up to bleeding or if I was still bleeding, and of course my answer to both was yes.  Her face changed to great sympathy and she said I would not, because they didn't want us to see anything before the doctor could go over the results, but she promised that she would print an extra picture for us if she found everything to be OK and the doctor would give it to me during the exam. 

Right away I began to cry, it had been a horribly long 6 weeks with so many unexpected negatives instead of joy that should have been there,  I NEEDED the peace of seeing for myself that the baby was OK.  The Ult. Tech said she understood, she had been in my position once and wanted the same thing.  She began the ultrasound and about half way through I heard a familiar sound . . . . . the heart beat.  I asked her to confirm that it was the heart beat and she said" I can't, but I wouldn't be so chatty otherwise".  She was VERY chatty (I wish I could remember her name, but I was in another world) she talked from the moment we walked into the room, until we walked out, she talked about our kids (she had 2 boys close to the same age).  I think she talked to my husband about Thomas the Train.

After the ultrasound we waited to see the doctor, I was so worked up I couldn't even speak.  We waited a little while in the waiting room and then they moved me back for the nurse to finish my official check-in by asking background medical questions, checking my blood pressure, and of course checking my weight.  Then she moved me into an exam room where David joined me.  The Doctor came in and he walked up to me and shook my hand and then my husbands.  Then he asked how I was doing.  I told him I was doing OK, I was still bleeding but it was very light and hadn't gotten worse since the Monday of the ER, in fact it had changed to a brown colored discharge (gross I know, but this is important).  The doctor said, "Good, but that isn't what I meant, how are you doing here?", and he held his hand over my heart.

I lost it, this was the first time in 6 weeks that a medical professional had asked me how I was doing emotionally, and I LOST IT.  I told him it had been a very rough 6 weeks but we were praying this was the beginning of something positive.  His response, "Well we will be sure that it is".  WOW, he had me at hello ;-)  He went over the ultrasound and said the baby looked great, was right on track with the dates I had given for when the baby was conceived.  He also said the brown discharge was actually a good sign, that it was old blood and indicated there wasn't any new bleeding activity and more then likely I was past the worst but that I still needed to take it easy.  We spoke of other questions we had, but after hearing the baby was doing great and that I was probably past the worst, I don't think I heard to much, I was glowing.  When he was about to finish up with us I asked if they had an ultrasound picture for us, he teasingly said NO, but handed me a picture to take home.  My husband looked at it and said "where is the baby?",  I laughed.  But the doctor very carefully went over the picture and explained everything in easy terms for David, the shapes, why this was brighter then another area, etc.

As we walked down the hall I had to grab David's sleeve and we had a moment in the hallway.  David walked on to the waiting room because my sister who had been across the street at the college, stopped by to find out how the appointment went.  When I rounded the corner after checking out and getting my next appointment I saw her and walked right up to her and started crying all over again and through my tears I said in her ear, "THIS IS WHAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO FEEL LIKE".  I was sooooo glad she was there, she was the first to know I was pregnant, she came to me that day and prayed with me, and now here in the middle of a full waiting room she held me, cried with me, and said "thank you God" with us.

This is the feeling I remember from my previous two pregnancies, this feeling, this joy, this can't wipe the smile off my face feeling, THIS IS IT! 

Praise you Father for your mercy that You pour out on me, my husband, our boys, our baby, our family.  OH Abba Father, I can not express how much I love You, and not because You blessed me, but because You love me in spite of the sinner I am, in spite of my failing, in spite of how many times I have let You down.  You fill me up so I can pour out for You and I pray I do that to YOUR JOY in some way every day.
Thank you Father!!!


  1. Crying tear of joy with you Laura Ann!!! God is so good!!! The God we serve is able... and he will. Daniel 3:17

  2. This post brought tears to my eyes!! I'm so glad that everything is alright with you and your precious baby!!

  3. So glad! What a sweet sweet sounding doctor!

    I go for my first apt in 7 days where I will be 9.5 weeks along! I can't WAIT to see my ultrasound pic. This is baby number four and it just does NOT seem real yet!

    I so understand!

    hugs to you...


  4. What a joyful post! Thank you for sharing it with us! I know how you feel and I'll continue to pray that things go well.

    God is good....all the time.

  5. I am crying right now!! I am so happy for you and so thankful you have such a sweet doctor!! I'm 12 weeks pregnant too and can't imagine how hard that must have been! God is so good!