Do you struggle with your mom job? I am not talking about the part of the job of picking up the house, taking care of laundry, cleaning the toilet, unloading the dishwasher, grocery shopping . . . the list could go on and on. I am talking about the portion of your job as a mom to discipline your child and deal with your child in the face of a tantrum, hurtful words, and really poor behavior or choices.
I am constantly trying to find the perfect balance of encouraging my children to be themselves and correcting them in the ways they should grow as an individual, a member of our household, a person in society but MOST of all as a child of Christ. I don't want to stifle their amazing personalities with correction and discipline, I want the very thing that makes them who they are to shine and to glorify God. BUT I feel like I am constantly correcting them, constantly saying no, constantly being on top of them and redirecting them. Like any mother I desire for my children to grow up knowing they can always turn to me, talk to me about anything and trust me for comfort no matter the circumstances, but I feel sometimes like the "disciplinarian" portion of my job as their mom is driving a wedge between that connection.
I want my children to KNOW I am their parent and it is my job to guide them and sometimes that means I have to do the hard thing and discipline them for the poor choices they make. God gave me this job, Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. I don't take this job lightly. BUT I do struggle with it because in the middle of a situation when I am facing one of my children (lets be honest right now this doesn't include 3 yr old Rachel) and they are mouthing off to me, being disrespectful, screaming NO at the top of their lungs, telling me what they will or won't do, throwing things, or saying something totally hurtful, I struggle to respond in the way that will have the most positive outcome . . . . long term lesson learned.
I guess I still get caught up in my own head and what I IMAGINED parenting would be like. I have NO idea how the perfection of family life on TV and in books ever made me think that I could achieve that someday because I saw the reality of childhood, personalities, and discipline in my own home growing up with three siblings. Discipline has to happen at some point in order to guide and mold a child and help them to recognize they that we all have consequences for our choices in life. After all our Heavenly Father loves us and disciplines us as well, allowing us to face the consequences of our sin and then showing us His mercy and grace to get us through.
I guess I just needed to talk this out because we are facing a lot of "issues" right now with one of the boys. I don't know it's source and why we are suddenly seeing a lot of willful behavior. All I know to do right now is continue to lay him before the Lord in prayer, pray with him to show him that when we are angry or upset we need to turn to our Heavenly Father, and putting my faith in God that He alone will see us through this and guide our son.
How do you discipline in your home? What works and what doesn't?