(transcribed from diary I kept in Rachel's NICU space)
It is Halloween and we are not where I ever expected us to be, had things gone the way we had expected, Rachel was scheduled to arrive yesterday and we would have been celebrate our first Halloween together as a family today. Instead we are not together and I am missing a day our family truly loves, getting them dressed up in costumes, going to the church Harvest festival and eating our favorite pieces of candy before bed. I still plan to dress Rachel up sometime today in the special outfit I had planned for her, hopefully we have a good day ahead of us.
Rachel made it to 65cc's overnight with feedings w/o spitting up. In addition her heart rate dropped down after one of her spitting up episodes (a brady or bradycardia).
Only did 35cc @ 4:00 feeding and she threw up most of it.
Dr decided to put Rachel back on IV fluids this afternoon because she is not tolerating her feedings very well, in addition they have placed a feeding tube back in to start feeding her again after giving her stomach a rest overnight. In the morning they will retest her platelets and decide what action to take on the platelets and her feeding problems. The roller coaster comes back down once again and I feel like I can't handle this ride. I am trying to be strong but every time we seem to be moving closer to leaving we have a huge setback.
Tonight one of our favorite nurses is on duty so I know Rachel will be in good hands.
*they did the x-ray and is showed no problem with her stomach, but for the night they are going to give her stomach a rest and push IV fluids and when they round in the morning they will go over everything.
Tonight David and I got to have a night out at a nice restaurant down the road from the hospital thanks to our dear friends Billy and Margie. I know I should have been able to fully enjoy our evening, but I kept on thinking of the horrible day we had and Rachel back at the NICU going back onto IV fluids and feeding tube.
Afterwards we went back by the hospital to visit our little girl before going back to my little RMH room, thankfully David was with me for the weekend and it was nice to have this strength with me. The nurses had tucked her back into her bassinet still wearing her little Halloween headband and blanket.
Note found in my notebook from nurse Ashley:
"It is a pleasure to be able to take care of your adorable sweet pea . . . she has won my heart already, and we've only just met! I will take home thoughts of her & your family, and look forward to being her nurse again soon!"
Ashley V. RN